“Turn of Mind”, by Alice LaPlante

 

320 pages, Grove Press, ISBN-13: 978-1594135798

Turn of Mind by Alice LaPlante centers on Dr. Jennifer White, retired orthopedic surgeon, and the murder of her friend, Amanda O’Toole (whose fingers were surgically severed after death, to boot). Dr. White is the prime suspect but, complicating matters for her and the police is the fact that she is suffering from advanced-stage Alzheimer’s and can remember nothing or, when memories do spring to mind, are always fractured and out of sorts. The structure of the book is told from the viewpoint of the unfortunate Dr. White, a viewpoint that, as one can well imagine from a person with dementia, is out of sorts and unreliable. It also serves to make the book smaller in fact than it purports to be, as it is written as a series of small, brief, paragraphs separated by a blank line or two (to say nothing of a very fast read).

One thing that suffuses this book is the loss of Jennifer; not literally, or course, as she is the narrator and principle voice of the book. But hers is a broken voice, spoken by a woman who is no longer there, mentally. When she is most cognizant is when she remembers the past – the far past, if you will, rather than the recent, which she cannot grasp. This woman was so much more than what she is now and to see such an accomplished and respected woman brought low by a disease that robs one of their intellect and dignity is a damn shame (it also proves that there are, in fact, fates worse than death). In this state we learn more about Jennifer and discover that she is flawed; indeed, one of her sins especially proves that her late husband, James, was a saint for putting up with her in her normal, pre-Alzheimer condition.

As mysteries go, however, Turn of Mind is not very…mysterious. The murder of Amanda is supposed to be at the center of the book but, in fact, Jennifer’s Alzheimer’s is the engine of this car. Seeing as it is told from Jennifer’s fractured and unreliable point of view this makes sense, as we puzzle along with her what is real and what is misremembered fantasy; what are relevant facts and what are irrelevant meanderings. The suspect list is thin and the final reveal – dealing as it does with our demented heroine fleeing the facility she was placed in and attempting to solve the crime on her own – is rather shocking (to me at any rate). Whenever I finish a mystery that fools me I usually go back and reread certain portions to try and determine why I didn’t sniff it out; Turn of Mind was no different, and I kick myself for not having uncovered the perp.

So Turn of Mind requires patience on the part of the reader as you try to puzzle out Jennifer’s thoughts and the motivations of those around her. But stick with it, as the final reveal will make it all worthwhile.

“Relic”, by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child

 

382 pages, Forge, ISBN-13: 978-031285630X

Relic by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child is set in the New York Museum of Natural History (now the American Museum of Natural History) and follows the opening of a new exhibit called “Superstitions”, about native and obscure religions and beliefs from around the world – only to be plagued by a series of brutal murders in which people are savagely mutilated and their brains partially eaten (the 1997 movie The Relic was also based on it, but that bombed so you probably didn’t see it). It turns out this book was the first to feature their reoccurring characters Special Agent Aloysius Pendergast and Detective Vincent D’Agosta.

So, anyway, Relic was okay. The mystery at the heart of the story is over the relic in question that is the center of the new exhibit, the culture from which it was taken and its connection to the bloody murders. As the scientists and researchers study the history and mystery surrounding the whole, bits and pieces fall into place as the novel barrels headlong. All of this was fine as these Very Smart People try and piece together the strange findings that come their way. If you are not a geek then much of this may be dull, but any library rat worth their salt will find all of this techno-digging to be well worth the read.

The real problems lay in the wooden characters; not once while reading Relic did I feel any dread or suspense, a damning critique for a book that purports to be a thriller. This is mostly because I couldn’t give a damn for any of these posts masquerading as people. Then there is Special Agent Pendergast of the FBI who is investigating these murders due to their similarity to deaths that had occurred in New Orleans a few years before. While Aloysius brims with personality – especially in relation to the blocks of wood all around him – he also knows…everything and has had just the right unreal life experiences to make him indispensable.

And the ending is LONG, as everything comes to a head and all hell breaks loose and there’s blood and guts and – hell, just wading through the last several chapters was a chore when it should have been a suspenseful hell-ride as we bump and jostle towards the conclusion. The Epilogue, however, was good, as the writers wrap everything up and answer all of your unanswered questions – and set up the sequel. The character through which they do it was always present and, while arrogant, was not very malevolent, until he reveals his ultimate plans. If I had enjoyed Relic more then I think that this last chapter would have gotten me excited for the next book.

The Relic was a ‘B’ Movie, which should come as no surprise, seeing as the book it was based upon was also subpar. An entertaining enough read that occupied me for a week, I shan’t be reading any more Preston and Child books and must bid adieu to Special Agent Pendergast and Detective Vincent D’Agosta.

“Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000”, by L. Ron Hubbard

 

1144 pages, Galaxy Press, ISBN-13: 978-1619865099

My first encounter with L. Ron Hubbard and his Sci-Fi novel Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 came way back sometime during the Glorious 80s when my older brother Tom bought a hardcover edition of this thing with cover art by Gerald Grace (the softcover version I borrowed from the Fraser Public Library – “21^st Century Edition, complete with Expanded Content, Author Interview and Discussion Guide” – featured art by Frank Frazetta, a marked improvement). And I had my eye on it ever since, because it was one of those instances that stayed with me for reasons I cannot fathom. But one day when I was doing one of my laps around the Fraser Public Library, I passed by this thing for the umpteenth time and decided at long last to take the plunge. If you eliminate the long-winded introduction and the post-novel Author Interview, that still leaves one with over 1000 pages to barrel through, divided into 33 Parts and each Part into several chapters. So I had my work cut out for me but, hey, who doesn’t like a challenge?

So what’s it all about, then? It is the year 3000; after having been conquered a millennium before by an alien species, the Psychlos, Mankind is on the brink of extinction, reduced to a few primitive tribes in isolated parts of the Earth and numbering fewer than 35,000 worldwide, while the Psychlos strip the planet of its mineral wealth. In what was once Colorado, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler begins the long process of discovering his world and how to drive the alien interloper off and freeing all from its vile presence. So what we have here is some rather classic Sci-Fi pulp fiction in which big themes are discussed, grand vistas are explored, huge battles are fought and goodness and righteousness are tested; if Battlefield Earth had been published during the golden era of pulp fiction then Jonnie Goodboy Tyler could very well have taken his place alongside such exemplars of the genre like Buck Rogers or Flash Gordon (not surprising, really, considering that Lafayette Ronald Hubbard was born in 1911).

But throughout reading this book I couldn’t shake the notion that I was reading another type of book masquerading as Sci-Fi. Most of the first third is taken up by the machinations of Terl, the Psychlo chief of security of Earth, who desperately wants to escape this backwater world and return to Psychlo – and get rich, in the bargain. This is when he captures Johnnie and launches his plan to turn the Man Animals into unpaid workers who will mine the gold he needs. This is all in keeping with the “leverage” that Terl seeks over his superiors, a concept that dominates this part of the book so much that one forgets that this is supposed to be science fiction. Not bad, mind you; seeing Terl plot and plan his way off of Earth is all rather amusing, while Johnnie’s attempts to gain some leverage of his own are likewise engrossing. And whenever one train of thought seems to have run its course Hubbard always does a course correction and refreshes the tale, keeping one interested enough through several hundred pages.

But (you just knew a “but” was coming, dintcha?) there are issues with this magnum opus. While Mankind is on the brink of extinction, there are still several groupings alive around the planet, such as in Scotland, where kilts are still worn, bagpipes are still played and the word “laddie” is used liberally. And it was all just a bit too precious for me. As Hubbard would have it, after 1000 years Scots culture is unaltered, which is nonsense; the Middle Ages lasted from about 500 to 1500 and during that time Europe changed so much as to become unrecognizable, and yet the Scots haven’t altered one iota during the millennium (don’t get me started on the perils of inbreeding). This idea becomes truly ridiculous as other tribes are discovered – like the Red Army – across the globe who likewise have kept the old ways of a world a thousand years dead and languages that, apparently, have remained unchanged. I like the idea that Man and his cultures are resilient, but Hubbard takes this idea to absurd conclusions that beggar belief.

Hubbard liked to say that Battlefield Earth was “Hard Sci-Fi” – that is, science fiction characterized by concern for scientific accuracy and logic (no sound effects in space here) – but this, too, is absurd. From planes that “fly” through unknown means to an alternate periodic table, this book is suffused with technology that can only be described as fantastical. One would think, after reading this, that Hubbard’s grasp of science was mediocre at best and that he made up that which he didn’t know (which was a lot). Some of it works – like the enormous teleportation plate by which the Psychlos transport their earthly plunder back to the homeworld, or the learning machines that force-feed Johnnie the knowledge Terl thinks he needs; I could suspend my disbelief over those. But there were just too many convenient technological solutions to the myriad problems Hubbard raises and then just as easily dismisses in order for his heroic hero to man-up and take on the evil aliens and defeat them at their own game.

But all that isn’t the worst thing about Battlefield Earth. As I noted earlier this book has its roots firmly in the pulp fiction era of novels, and so it is big, brash, loud and as unsubtle as a brick to the head. If Hubbard can say something using 20 words rather than only 5 than you can bet that’s just what he’ll do. The characterizations are simplistic and paper-thin, and while Hubbard can write about the most base and evil impulses, other, grander ideas – like, say, love, generosity, compassion – are ignored altogether. Several times Tyler is challenged and forced to grow and develop, which at least gives him a hero’s arc to complete. And Terl is as devious and plotting a villain as one could hope for, not just a stupid alien to be defeated and purged. But the fate of Psychlo is absurd at best (to say nothing of convenient), the dismissal of the Psychlo Empire is weak, other alien species of the universe are ridiculous and half of the book meanders about, like Hubbard wanted to write a Sci-Fi equivalent to The Lord of the Rings without enough material.

So then…I don’t regret having read Battlefield Earth, but I also can’t recommend it. Not as bad as others have said it was, it certainly isn’t as good as it’s backers would have you believe. There are better uses for trees than all those killed printing this thing (and if you think I’ll go anywhere near the Mission Earth dekalogy you’re nucking futs).