“Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000”, by L. Ron Hubbard

 

1144 pages, Galaxy Press, ISBN-13: 978-1619865099

My first encounter with L. Ron Hubbard and his Sci-Fi novel Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 came way back sometime during the Glorious 80s when my older brother Tom bought a hardcover edition of this thing with cover art by Gerald Grace (the softcover version I borrowed from the Fraser Public Library – “21^st Century Edition, complete with Expanded Content, Author Interview and Discussion Guide” – featured art by Frank Frazetta, a marked improvement). And I had my eye on it ever since, because it was one of those instances that stayed with me for reasons I cannot fathom. But one day when I was doing one of my laps around the Fraser Public Library, I passed by this thing for the umpteenth time and decided at long last to take the plunge. If you eliminate the long-winded introduction and the post-novel Author Interview, that still leaves one with over 1000 pages to barrel through, divided into 33 Parts and each Part into several chapters. So I had my work cut out for me but, hey, who doesn’t like a challenge?

So what’s it all about, then? It is the year 3000; after having been conquered a millennium before by an alien species, the Psychlos, Mankind is on the brink of extinction, reduced to a few primitive tribes in isolated parts of the Earth and numbering fewer than 35,000 worldwide, while the Psychlos strip the planet of its mineral wealth. In what was once Colorado, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler begins the long process of discovering his world and how to drive the alien interloper off and freeing all from its vile presence. So what we have here is some rather classic Sci-Fi pulp fiction in which big themes are discussed, grand vistas are explored, huge battles are fought and goodness and righteousness are tested; if Battlefield Earth had been published during the golden era of pulp fiction then Jonnie Goodboy Tyler could very well have taken his place alongside such exemplars of the genre like Buck Rogers or Flash Gordon (not surprising, really, considering that Lafayette Ronald Hubbard was born in 1911).

But throughout reading this book I couldn’t shake the notion that I was reading another type of book masquerading as Sci-Fi. Most of the first third is taken up by the machinations of Terl, the Psychlo chief of security of Earth, who desperately wants to escape this backwater world and return to Psychlo – and get rich, in the bargain. This is when he captures Johnnie and launches his plan to turn the Man Animals into unpaid workers who will mine the gold he needs. This is all in keeping with the “leverage” that Terl seeks over his superiors, a concept that dominates this part of the book so much that one forgets that this is supposed to be science fiction. Not bad, mind you; seeing Terl plot and plan his way off of Earth is all rather amusing, while Johnnie’s attempts to gain some leverage of his own are likewise engrossing. And whenever one train of thought seems to have run its course Hubbard always does a course correction and refreshes the tale, keeping one interested enough through several hundred pages.

But (you just knew a “but” was coming, dintcha?) there are issues with this magnum opus. While Mankind is on the brink of extinction, there are still several groupings alive around the planet, such as in Scotland, where kilts are still worn, bagpipes are still played and the word “laddie” is used liberally. And it was all just a bit too precious for me. As Hubbard would have it, after 1000 years Scots culture is unaltered, which is nonsense; the Middle Ages lasted from about 500 to 1500 and during that time Europe changed so much as to become unrecognizable, and yet the Scots haven’t altered one iota during the millennium (don’t get me started on the perils of inbreeding). This idea becomes truly ridiculous as other tribes are discovered – like the Red Army – across the globe who likewise have kept the old ways of a world a thousand years dead and languages that, apparently, have remained unchanged. I like the idea that Man and his cultures are resilient, but Hubbard takes this idea to absurd conclusions that beggar belief.

Hubbard liked to say that Battlefield Earth was “Hard Sci-Fi” – that is, science fiction characterized by concern for scientific accuracy and logic (no sound effects in space here) – but this, too, is absurd. From planes that “fly” through unknown means to an alternate periodic table, this book is suffused with technology that can only be described as fantastical. One would think, after reading this, that Hubbard’s grasp of science was mediocre at best and that he made up that which he didn’t know (which was a lot). Some of it works – like the enormous teleportation plate by which the Psychlos transport their earthly plunder back to the homeworld, or the learning machines that force-feed Johnnie the knowledge Terl thinks he needs; I could suspend my disbelief over those. But there were just too many convenient technological solutions to the myriad problems Hubbard raises and then just as easily dismisses in order for his heroic hero to man-up and take on the evil aliens and defeat them at their own game.

But all that isn’t the worst thing about Battlefield Earth. As I noted earlier this book has its roots firmly in the pulp fiction era of novels, and so it is big, brash, loud and as unsubtle as a brick to the head. If Hubbard can say something using 20 words rather than only 5 than you can bet that’s just what he’ll do. The characterizations are simplistic and paper-thin, and while Hubbard can write about the most base and evil impulses, other, grander ideas – like, say, love, generosity, compassion – are ignored altogether. Several times Tyler is challenged and forced to grow and develop, which at least gives him a hero’s arc to complete. And Terl is as devious and plotting a villain as one could hope for, not just a stupid alien to be defeated and purged. But the fate of Psychlo is absurd at best (to say nothing of convenient), the dismissal of the Psychlo Empire is weak, other alien species of the universe are ridiculous and half of the book meanders about, like Hubbard wanted to write a Sci-Fi equivalent to The Lord of the Rings without enough material.

So then…I don’t regret having read Battlefield Earth, but I also can’t recommend it. Not as bad as others have said it was, it certainly isn’t as good as it’s backers would have you believe. There are better uses for trees than all those killed printing this thing (and if you think I’ll go anywhere near the Mission Earth dekalogy you’re nucking futs).